Welcome to my sex+ blog!
You must be wondering what you’re about to get yourself into.
“Well, duh” you say, “sex, because you said this is a sex blog.”
Yes, this is a sex blog and so there will be talk of sex — and plenty of it! — but sex has a lot of different meanings to a lot of different people, so it’s not very useful if I start and end with “I’m a sex blog.”
This particular sex blog is one told the perspective of a neurodivergent, polyamorous, childfree black woman. I stress this first because it will help inform your reading when you skim (or devour) my content because my perspective informs my experience of sex. While there are a lot of beautiful and well-curated sex blogs out there that I love to read myself (blogs like Girly Juice and Glamerotica101 tickle me pink), each layer of my identity that I explore makes it harder to find resources that I feel can help me navigate things like how to initiate sex or establish boundaries.
I figure if I’m having a hard time finding resources that cater more to people who are neurodivergent, polyamorous, or childfree, you might be too because you see yourself in me. Or you see your partner in me, or a friend that you know — on the list can go! But all this is to say that I made this blog by first keeping in mind what story it is I want to tell, hoping that my experiences can help to either educate you or inspire you — ideally, it does both at the same time.
This blog will also focus on things like mental health, relationships, going freelance, etc. Lastly, I’m a budding Intimacy Coach affiliated with Intimacy Coach International, so some of the things I’ll end up sharing will be things I’m learning on my road to #certification. The end goal is for this site to serve as a one-stop shop for both your reading entertainment AND to offer coaching services for those who’d like to level up in the intimacy department.
Why is this called “The Sterile Slut?”
I love the word “slut,” of course. Who doesn’t? It’s popular for The Patriarchy to try and use it as a means to demean women for being sentient beings with sexual agency. It is, for some women, an empowering tool in their arsenal of fighting The Patriarchy back. And it is, for others, simply one way they choose to describe themselves without batting an eyelash about it because it is accurate and they love being sexual, so what?
As a feminist, the idea behind reclaiming a slur used against you is a powerful one that I support, but I also just like the word “slut” because it’s a good description for the type of person I am. I like to have sex with multiple partners. I like to have sex in places beside the bedroom. If I had it my way, I’d have sex every day of the week.
“Sterile” is a modifier I’ve opted into because I’ve noticed that being openly childfree is the hardest perspective to find in the ocean of sex+ blogs. Everything I’ve found up to this point comes from digging through the fourth page of a Google search, or a Facebook group. So I’ve affectionately dubbed this blog — and thus, myself — a “sterile slut” because that is exactly what I am. I’m a slut, I’ve been sterilized, and I love those parts of myself enough to shout it into the internet.
Okay, I think I’m in.